Friday, May 10, 2019


[Note from Thomas Lavalle: The Internet  was in its infancy when I first stumbled, to my prurient delight, on femdom sites (long before the term “FLR). When I found something especially provocative, I would save it to file. Happily, a good many of these text captures have survived, though in most cases I can no longer trace them to their sources—e.g., a particular bulletin board, newsgroup, forum or social networking site. As an example, I am unable to document where I unearthed either of the two citations below, but I’ve decided to share them with the readers of this blog anyway. Both selections are unapologetic testaments—as I thought when I first read them—to a lifestyle of uncompromising female supremacy. Both “Lady E” and “Caligula” affirm their right and preference not only to own male slaves but to treat them as chattel. Interestingly, as you will discover, both extracts explore similar techniques for keeping household males strictly in their place and out of the way when not needed.]

LADY ‘E’—I was having a problem with my husband who is submissive to me. He is a good creature but at times he was just too attentive. There were times when I just wanted to relax and not have him at my feet always begging to do something for me. It wasn’t right to punish him for it because I trained him to always make my needs his priority. Even when I told him to sit and be quiet, it seemed that every time I got up to do something, he felt the need to jump. I got tired of telling him to sit.

I consulted an experienced domme friend, who told me just to “park him someplace.” It seemed cruel to do this to a creature that was trying to do so good. But I tried it anyway. I came home from work one night and he had dinner ready for me. We ate and I took a shower while he cleaned up. I really just wanted to sit back that evening and read, without having to be “Mistress.” When I came into my living room, there he was, sitting on the floor, waiting for me. It almost pissed me off! I decided this was the night I was going to do it!

I told him to get me the ball gag, blindfold, my locking cuffs and some chain. I also told him to use the bathroom. When he got back, he was instructed to remove his clothes. I had placed a kitchen chair at a wall opposite where I was going to sit in the room. I put a pillow on the chair to make sure it was comfortable and turned it to face the wall. He was instructed to sit and put his arms behind him. Then I locked his wrists and ankles in cuffs and used a length of chain to connect them. This arrangement, I thought, should allowed him to remain comfortable for a number of hours.

He was so quiet and cooperative that I almost felt sorry for wanting to store him away for the night. Almost, but not quite! I inserted the ball gag and then told him that he was “being parked for the night” until I needed him. As I placed the blindfold over his eyes I told him that I was not punishing him, but just putting him away like one puts a car in a garage when they don’t need it.

He remained quiet and still for a very long time, only stirring occasionally. After about an hour I took out the ball gag for a minute and then released him to check and see if he was all right and allow him to stretch a bit. Then I “parked” him again.

I had such a pleasant evening that night! So much time of quiet all to myself without the responsibility of giving orders. Later that night, when I released him to go to bed, he seemed much more relaxed as well.

Parking him has become a regular thing now. It seems too simple to work so well that I can hardly believe it. Needless to say, I am extremely thankful to my domme friend for this advice.


CALIGULA—I am a liberated woman. I am what I want to be and I am where I want to be at this time in my life. I would love to help other women to achieve what I have because I believe in the natural superiority of the female over the male; so to this end I will try and relate how I achieved and maintain control over my slave.

Most men have a very overblown ego. They learn this as little boys and they continue to exercise this silly posturing for most of their life until they meet a woman capable of deflating it, and eventually destroying it. To begin them on this journey a capable woman must systematically chip away at their self-esteem.

To begin this process; introduce him very early on to the concept of obedience to you. Most men can be subtly introduced to this by appealing to his ego and letting him think he is just doing his “man thing,” pleasing his lady. At this point, or very soon, you can introduce subtle punishment to him. At first just withhold sex, or perhaps don’t allow him to see you for some period of time. Using your own superior female wiles, you can soon begin to use physical discipline on him.

He will think it is a bedroom game that you are playing. He will learn the truth, too late. He should see very soon that you are serious about it. When you have established that disobedience will result in discipline, you have started him well on his way. No man can continue with his inflated male ego while being punished by a woman. As you introduce him to more and more regular sessions of physical punishment, you can begin to introduce him to some rules. Once you have done this, it is only a matter of time before you will have you a personal servant or slave—if you wish.

I personally suggest you continue his training until you have enslaved him. This is what I have done and I could not be happier. My slave is completely broken and is at this time completely subject to my will. Why wouldn’t I be happy? Why would every woman not do this? In addition to having a slave to serve you, he will submit to every torture and degrading situation you put him in. You have to continue to do this, too. It is the way you keep him broken. Need some pointers? Okay!

PUNISH OFTEN—You will find countless reasons. I spank my male every day. To keep his rear in shape, I like to put hand cream on it every day as well (keeps it soft). If you feel he is getting used to it, put a nice hot towel on his butt before you spank him. It increases the pain a lot. You will find all of this will increase you power over him, and you will find that you look forward to it and will enjoy the way it destroys his will power. Remember, you are not trying to teach him anything. You are simply trying to keep him down.

NEVER LET HIM ON THE FURNITURE—I keep one stool that is his. He knows where he goes when I am not using him.

NEVER LET HIM SPEAK—Work out a sign he can use if he wishes to say something. Then punish him for using it. Soon he will learn to not speak at all.

CONTROL HIS FUNCTIONS—Get him on a schedule and he will get used to it. Then you will not be disturbed by him needing things when you are using him. Also, it further degrades him to know he cannot even control this.

CONTROL HIS ACTIVITIES—There is no need for your slave to be entertained. When mine is serving me, if I see him glance at the TV, you guessed it—punishment! I use a “white sound” tape to block out all sound while I am watching TV. He must have his earphones on so that he doesn’t hear it. I doubt that he has seen or heard much TV or radio at all for the last few years.

DEFINE HIS POSTURE—Until he has been broken, require him to keep his head bowed and eyes lowered. In addition to degrading him, it is uncomfortable for him and enjoyable to see. When you are punishing him, never allow him to move in any way. I prefer him to remain limp, draped over whatever I have placed him over. When I first began his training, he would become limp after I made him weak by continuing his punishment. Now he knows that he must be that way at all times. I enjoy the way it looks and it makes him feel more useless.

BE STRICT—Remember that you are not here to please him, and you are not trying to teach him anything. You are breaking him down mentally and emotionally. Never allow him to deviate even a small amount from your rules. Punish, punish, punish!!!

ENJOY YOURSELF—I have talked to some ladies who begin to feel sorry for their slaves. Big mistake! If you do this, he will take advantage of it and in time will become a problem. Remind him often of his inferior place in life. Laugh at him, belittle him, let him know his suffering is enjoyable to you. If you have a girlfriend who is agreeable, do these things in front of her. This really destroys their self--image.

REMEMBER—This is permanent and your control should only grow as time passes. My slave will never again have any control over his life, nor will he ever go a day without being tortured. If you came to my house you would see a broken man, cowering before his Mistress. I intend to destroy him even more. He really is quite pathetic and I love it!!!


Monday, April 1, 2019


(Note from Tom Lavalle: ‘Spouseclub’ and ‘Spousechat’ were created by Bill Higgins, a real estate entrepreneur who became a househusband after marrying the CEO of a much larger real estate firm (Barbara Corcoran of the Corcoran Group in New York City). Higgins’ original message board was intended as a networking site for other men wed to high-powered executives. Within a few months, however, the site seems to have been populated mainly by passionate advocates for “matriarchal marriages” (i.e., what are now commonly called wife-led marriages and female-led relationships), with husbands playing enthusiastically supportive roles. The message board was deactivated in 2003, and the only archives currently available are some excerpts saved by Mark Remond and republished in several installments on  his Wife Worship blog, starting here-- from which these samples are taken.)


Although I am currently employed in a reasonably senior job, my girlfriend (who also reads this board) is keen for me to give it up, move in with her. Give up work and dedicate myself full time to her service. Whilst I am happy to do this holding as I do a totally subordinate role in our relationship, I am concerned as my girlfriend has a 16-year-old daughter from a previous relationship and I worry as to what effect this might have on her daughter. Although her daughter is aware that I am submissive to her mother, I am not sure she appreciates the extent of my submission. This does concern me, though Ms Angela insists that it’s no problem and her daughter understands the nature of our relationship and as a teenager is happy with the idea of being able to hand over her chores to me.

It sounds like you - oops, I mean Ms Angela - has it well in control. Listen to Ms Angela; obey Ms Angela; learn to please Ms Angela... therein lies wisdom. I am learning to say “Yes, My Goddess”

What are the complications, Mr. Angela? Do as you are told. Women have a high sense of morals. Nothing unseemly will happen and you will forward the cause of Matriarchal Households and give a very positive image to a young teenage woman who may find a boy like “dear ole step-dad.”

Well yes, but I suspect that knowing myself and Ms Angela and her daughter that I will end up as servile to both of them, I guess it’s that I am concerned about. Perhaps I should just accept it as my role and be grateful.

I think you should simply accept your role. Yes, you may be servile to both, but you will be guided in it by Ms. Angela. You may be helping form a mindset in the young teenager. It seems proper to me that you would take a servile role to both of them. Good luck. Enjoy your new role! Like so many modern men, you are breaking new ground in a very positive way.

Thanks for your advice. I have spoken to Ms Angela about this and my feelings. She too feels that it is quite natural that I be servile to them both. She has said that it would make her happy to see me call her daughter miss and her Ma’am. She also likes the idea of her daughter assuming some of Ms Angela’s supervisory duties when she is not there. Whilst I am comfortable to an extent, I am still not sure I am ready to be scolded and chastised by someone young enough to be my daughter.

You say you feel it is not comfortable to surrender to your girlfriend’s daughter. I say you will surrender not to her daughter foremost, but to your Lady’s wish (which is to obey her daughter too). From this point on, you cannot make any excuses.

Yes, I am sure you are right and that’s what I intend to do. Part of me I think is still adjusting to the new dynamics. It will be an adjustment for me to submit to this young lady but one I am happy, willing and eager to make. In some ways when I reflect on it I find the idea of submitting to my Mistress’s daughter really quite pleasing, reinforcing as it does my true place in the domestic pecking order.

Matriarchy does not have to be a “power” trip in male terms. It is recognition of the female as head of the family, as head of that household, and the person on whom all final decisions rest. There is no hatred for males in such a relationship. The males may be submissive, but it does not have to be a sadistic treatment for “lowly males.” It is also a focus on females in the family. It is the opportunity to give female children priority over their brothers. It may also represent the teaching of domestic skills to the boy children so that they can face the new society. I do believe matriarchy is best addressed when the man takes his wife’s name in marriage. I also endorse the practice of the man becoming Mr. (Her first name) (Her last name). In this way, they can tell society that they are a female-centered household. It is the time of women now. So many of us in this forum have said as much. Long Live The Matriarchy!

I just met a college senior. His girlfriend graduated this past May and is already in the work force at a job that is paying $90,000 a year. That is where she started. He knows he will never be able to match that after his graduation. He has realized that her career will dictate where they live. He may be the one who is at home when they have children. He is having to consider things that men ten years ago did not have to think about.

I am a matriarchist, will continue to be one, and will train my husband, sons, and daughters in the ways of matriarchy. I am not even against the “kinkier” side of relationships, but, the important issues here seem to be with men coping with a secondary status in the workplace, home, and family. I, for one, am happy to see the changes.

My wife and I reversed roles a little over three years ago when she got a big promotion. She was already making more money than I was and was the major decision-maker. We no longer needed my salary and she decided she wanted me to become a full-time househusband. I wasn’t really sure about doing that but she insisted I give it a try. After one year if I didn’t like it, she said, I could go back to work.

She had to teach me how to cook a wider variety of meals, how to iron her clothes and a few other things but I was a quick learner. It only took me a few months to realize how much I enjoyed just being her househusband. I was able to keep the house cleaner than it had ever been, keep her clothes clean and pressed, have her meals ready on time, run her errands and a host of other duties and still had time for a round of golf now and then.

After the first year we sat down and discussed the situation. I wanted to continue as a househusband and not go back to work. She agreed but with some conditions. I would have to recognize her as head of the house and with the final say in all areas of our relationship. I was to consider it my primary responsibility to support her and her career in whatever way I could and that she wanted. And since she was making all the money, I would be put on an allowance and expected to live within it.

I had no problem agreeing with this. The last two years have been great. It is my opinion men are much better suited to keeping house. And believe me, submitting to your wife, honoring and obeying her is the way to go.

How far did you go in the role reversal? Is she the boss in all areas? In honoring your wife as head of the household, did you take her last name to acknowledge her leadership? Do you identify her as head of the household on tax forms, etc.? In what ways do you obey your wife? How does her family feel about her being the head of your household? How does your family feel? If you have children, will you raise them to know that the wife is the boss in your household?

I told my boyfriend that I was taking the best  job offer after graduation because it made the most economic sense. I told him he should follow me, spend some time as my househusband to help me get settled and establish his role in our relationship, and to give him the freedom of finding the right job if he really wants to work in the outside world during our marriage. He caved in within minutes. He needs my direction in his life. He then served me some tea and fruit, ending the evening’s discussion with some Empress Wu treatment that was out of this world. I think we women have to be more determined and make our own decisions. The men will follow; they have to follow.
Do you have any words of advice for my future husband? He needs to know that he is not alone. This is not a fantasy. As he gets more comfortable being submissive and subordinate to me, I hope he never loses what has made him special. I do not want a doormat. I want a man who gladly takes women’s rule seriously.

We want to have children. I will want them to know in very real ways that Mommy Knows Best. I want my children (male and female) to know that I head the household. I also want all of us to continue to grow. If my husband does nothing but obey me, he will be very boring very soon.

I have decided to throw a dinner party for the one female professor (Feminist Studies) who has given me the most encouragement. My boyfriend will prepare and serve the meal. I do not intend on humiliating him in front of my teacher. However, I do want him to get experience in serving since he will be doing a lot of this to foster and nurture my career. Of course, I will praise him for his abilities if he provides excellent service. I can prove that I am in charge without making him be less of a man. I think my professor might truly enjoy being served by a nice, young college guy.

I am having the time of my life at this very moment that I write to you. While I am at the computer, my boyfriend is underneath the desk. He is giving me a foot massage and some oral sex. If I do not make sense at some moment in the email, you will understand why.

I am a Woman of Enlightenment. I know what I want and i know I will get what I want. Men have expected women to give up their names so easily and for so long. Even if a couple will take the man’s name, a man should have the feeling of being called by his wife’s first and last name as the family name. I would hope that this would create even more respect for his wife. I think junior and senior high school aged boys should be required to write the name of their girlfriends like Ms. and Mr. Lauren Tyler.

I was at lunch today with five other women who will be getting married within the next year and a half. Three are keeping their names in marriage. Two are taking the name of their husband. I asked each to ask their boyfriend how he would feel taking her name in marriage. My point is that he may have a greater respect for her and her role in the family if he realizes what she is giving up. I think I am going to make it a mission of mine to encourage young women to ask that questions of their future spouses. I am for freedom for everyone. I just want the matriarchal to stand shamelessly with the patriarchal. I like the idea that young man had about having a matriarchal street where children could be raised to appreciate woman’s leadership.

Men need our guidance and direction. They need some sensitivity training. In the family living classes at high schools, there should always be one couple where the woman is the breadwinner and the man is the househusband who took her name. What examples this could bring to any classroom discussion. At the present time, I am not sure that men are not scared of their shadows. I am a Woman on a Mission with a very well trained boyfriend. I am addressing this to all you couples, men and women out there. You can help me with the training of my boyfriend and I can help you get even deeper into your respectful support of Women.

I have a daughter that is 15 and have raised her since she was 2 as a single mom. I can tell you that I am raising my daughter to be a strict wife someday in her own way. Yes I will show her a man caring for me in ways as, cleaning the house, doing the laundry, shopping and yes even polishing my toenails.  This just shows the devotion and love a woman, mother of his children (in some cases) and wife deserve. The other aspects of being a dominant wife of course will come in time and as my daughter matures and finds her path in life then she will choose those characteristics.

My two daughters, Sheila now 17, and Diana now 13, and my son Francis now 15, have taken female superiority for granted, because matriarchy is the basis on which my family has always been run. Like my husband, all three of the children are subject to very strict discipline. I aim to bring up the two girls to become dominant women, but nobody can be a good disciplinarian without having undergone strict discipline themselves, so I am as strict with them as with the boy.  Francis has been trained to look after his own and his two sisters’ clothes and now does most of the washing, ironing and mending of them under Sheila’s supervision. At age 13, a girl who has been properly brought up is capable of being left in charge of a well disciplined boy. Besides, her pubescent period is one in which her ideas about the relationship between the sexes get established. Accordingly, when Sheila turned 13, I started to leave Francis in her charge when I had occasion to go out without them. When she turned 15, I gave her the authority to spank him, which she has exercised very deftly and responsibly. Sheila will soon be going away to university, so now that Diana is 13 I am starting to leave Francis sometimes in her charge, so that she can take over Sheila’s responsibilities for him. When she is 15, she will, like her sister, be given the privilege of spanking him, and he will feel this subjection all the more because he will then be 17, and therefore it will be a younger sister punishing him.

I have not thought it wise to try to conceal from the children that their daddy is fully under my control, just as they are, and is liable to punishment in the same manner as them. Otherwise, when they happened to find out, they would have imagined it was some sort of wicked secret. As it is, they hear me give him orders, see him submissively obey, and sometimes see him getting a tanning, and they take it all as a matter of course. This helps to establish in their minds the principle of a wife/mother being the absolute ruler of her household with husband as well as children subject to her authority and in her absolute power.

Sheila must have been about six when my chastisement of her father first came to her notice. I simply told her that daddy had been naughty and was being punished. Punishment for naughtiness was a familiar principle to her, so she just took the explanation as natural and reasonable. In these and other ways I have done my best to bring the children up imbued with the notions of female supremacy and a woman’s absolute rule over her family.

Three cheers for Gynocrat! I’m glad I’m not the only female who realises how important initial training is to establish the fact of female supremacy in both boys and girls.

My cousin Robert was raised to accept and respect female supremacy and eventually came to prefer his submissive role, which made him ideally suited for marriage to a strong-minded, dominant woman, and this is just what occurred when the time came. He actually married an old childhood friend, Pauline, who knows exactly how to treat him, and makes sure he remains thoroughly under her control. My aunt gave Pauline a present on her wedding-day---her wooden spoon, all tied up in pink ribbon, and I happen to know that it is still used just the same as before.

Thursday, February 28, 2019


(Note from Thomas Lavalle: One of my regular readers, and a frequent commenter to the blog, who goes by the name of "freddie," has been emailing me about his own female-led family. His lifestyle differs in some ways from other matriarchal families and clans chronicled here, but shares with them a pervasive aura of what Elise Sutton calls Loving Female Authority. As a result, freddie assures me, both he and his son, "S," feel totally loved and protected in their subordinate and devoted roles in this all-embracing family "femocracy." "Freddie" has kindly agreed to share with the readers of this blog a few of his thoughts and feelings. I hope to offer additional postings from him going forward.)

First, I should make clear that I have been given permission to write about our family’s experience of being a Female Led Family (a lifestyle we hope and expect will one day be accepted by all of society), but I am forbidden from giving names, except my own, of course. My wife will be referred to here as “HoF” (Head of Family), our daughters as “D1” and “D2,” and our son as “S.” When I am addressed as other than “Freddie” (I am never called “father/dad/daddy” by anyone, as this would suggest a role and a status I simply do not have), it is usually “boi,” which I like.

Let me also say a little bit about the early stages of our family and how it developed. HoF and I met at university. She was a star student and I was just okay. From the beginning it was clear that both of us shared a world view on the relationship between females and males, and on the clear superiority of the former over the latter. She decided to take me as her helpmeet. For reasons, which need not be detailed here, she married me. Put simply, she needed a male to give her children, and she decided it should be me. I was (and am) deeply honored. So, during the early years, I was summoned to her bed each night. When I had done my duty, I was sent to my own room and bed. She had three children (S, D1and D2) and decided that was enough. Since then, I am no longer permitted to visit her bed.

Our sleeping arrangements are straightforward. HoF, D1 and D2 each have their own rooms, which S and I are not allowed to enter unless they require us to do something for them. He and I share the fourth bedroom. We have a bunk bed, and one week I sleep on the top and the next, he does. We are put to bed at the same time. It is, of course, when the female in charge at the time decides and is ALWAYS well before their bedtime.

We all have our own tasks around the house. HoH does all the paperwork, business details and so on, as well as having the final say in all matters. I am responsible for meals (HoH decides what we have, of course; I simply prepare it). S and I share clearing the table, stacking the dishwasher and washing pans, etc. I do most of the other housework, and am also responsible for washing clothes, but the three children iron their own clothes, and D1 and D2 are responsible for cleaning their own rooms. S and I have to make sure that ours is kept immaculate. One of the females inspects it without giving notice. Woe betide us if there is anything out of place!

I promised Mr. Lavalle to write about an incident when corner time was used to punish us (well, on this occasion, me). Whilst HoF was busy doing her business, the four of us were told to play a game until bedtime (mine and S’). We were playing a card game called Snap. Basically, each player has the same number of cards to start with and puts the top one from her/his pile on a central pile. If two cards are the same, you have to shout “Snap” and quickly put your hand on the central pile. You then take all those cards and make your pack bigger, until one player has all the cards.

We were having a great (though a bit noisy, according to HoF!) time. Then the Bad Moment came. Two cards, placed atop the central pile one after another, were the same. I rushed to put my hand on the pile. So did D2. She claimed that she won, and I thought that I did. D1 was angry with me for “cheating,” she said.

That was when I made my Big Mistake.

I argued! D1 was beyond angry and told me to strip to my underpants and go to my corner. (S and I each have a specific corner we must go to when we are being punished.) Stupidly, I tried to plead against her punishment. What effect did that have? To make her even angrier, of course. D1 told me that now I had to strip completely before going to my corner. Defeated, I did as I was told this time. I stood there with my back to the room and my hands on my head, ashamed at my behavior, until I was told to come out of the corner.

No, I wasn’t being let off. I was sent immediately to bed. It was not even 7 o’clock. But a valuable lesson had been reinforced. In our family, males are never permitted to argue with the governing females.


Monday, January 7, 2019


Last week, after years of compulsive scribbling, I finally typed “THE END” to the three-book DANCING BACKWARD series. The final installment—subtitled “A BELOVED SLAVE RECLAIMED”—came in at just over 90,000 words, some of them salacious, all of them, I think, well chosen.

Now today I was tickled pink to learn that Mistress Kathy, Queen of the FLR bloggers, is asking her astute readership to take a look at all three books and give her some thoughtful feedback.

Thanks, Kathy! I’m keeping my fingers crossed!

Actually, I feel pretty good about meeting most of her listed critical criteria:
  • Must be about femdom.
  • It must make you think about the lifestyle.
  • It must not all be about sex. A little about sex is ok.
  • Very little about spanking.
  • It must be interesting and fun to read.

I am most confident of meeting her last criterion, “fun to read.” Like most of my femdom stories and novels (or novelettes), DB3 is not a “stroke book,” if you get my drift. Oh, there are more than a few explicit scenes, but not what might be called masturbatory play-by-play. I try to aim a bit higher than that.

Of course, Mistress Kathy may certainly have have her own reservations—too much of this or that ingredient in the fictional stew. And she keeps insisting she’s not a female supremacist. But the rationale for my own femsupreme convictions is more personal than philosophical. As stated in my Amazon bio:

“I used to think I was the only guy with a superior wife. Gradually, then, I started noticing that all the other wives in our social circle were also superior to their husbands--far superior--in all the ways that really mattered: charm, grace, social sense, common sense, judgment, wisdom, spirituality, financial acumen, playfulness, dependability, nurturing--you name it. Gradually the obvious truth dawned--that women are simply the superior sex. I have now learned to celebrate this revelation in every way that I can and to take my proper place proudly at the feet of our ruling goddesses. The DANCING BACKWARD series is my fictional and fanciful tribute to female supremacy.”

I am, however, a bit hesitant about my fiction being taken too seriously. As I wrote previously in this blog (“The Femdom Adventure Continues,” Dec. 12, 2016), my femdom tales are “a product of a submissively fevered imagination, and that I have been beset by such erotic imaginings from the age of 4.”

They are, to dress it up a bit, an “effort at celebrating the majesty and puissance of the gloriously superior sex.”

I kid you not.

I just hope lots of folks share my juvenile and incurable fondness for femdom and femsupreme fantasies.


Tuesday, November 27, 2018


[Continuing the journal excerpts from a submissive househusband cybernamed “House Mouse” on surrendering total control in financial matters to his ruling wife, Roxanne.]
Buying gifts for Roxanne with my extra-slim allowance (recently reduced to only $10 a week) is always a challenge. I wanted to get her a big sentimental "I Adore You" card and some supermarket flowers for Valentine’s Day. The lot will cost about $20. I saved from last week's allowance about a buck and with this week's $10 (as I mentioned above, Roxanne has tightened me down to $10 a week), so I will still need another $10. So this week I anticipated having to do some snuggle-up begging and butt-kissing.
During the week, I did everything I could to serve her and butter her up.  I cooked some great dinners, plied her with compliments, agreed with her every word, you know the drill. Naturally, she saw right through me 
Last night, I was massaging her feet after work, hoping to “pop the question” but she stopped me with “Ask me later.” She was enjoying her foot massage too much to be bothered. That threw me into a little panic, for she usually said that when she wanted to gently refuse my request.  I was a bit crestfallen, but kept busy with my chores for the evening. Later after retiring, in a little desperation, I snuggled up to Roxanne, kissing her shoulders and began begging for the money and asking that she not ask me to explain what I wanted it for.
Well,  finally, Roxanne consented to everything.  I figured out that she’d been
playing me a bit, making me wait, but that was okay. I was so happy and relieved that she was going to give me the money and actually was rather proud of her for seeing through me and playing me so easily.
So today when we were doing some shopping, I asked Roxanne if we could stop by the grocery store so I could buy something for her. She agreed and gave me the money I needed, and told me I could go in by myself while she stayed in the car. I got the card and flowers and took them to the register, but somehow had miscalculated the cost. I was short 50 cents!
I ran back to the car where Roxanne was waiting, reading a magazine, and begged for the additional half-dollar. She smiled and handed me the money. I got her the present and card. She was delighted with the gift! Actually I think Roxanne liked all the trouble I went through to get the present more than the present itself. Later I made a nice dinner for her and presented the card. She loved it. It was a great Valentine’s Day.
Of course, I’m going to be broke for the next two weeks or so because the money Roxanne gave me will come out of my next week’s allowance. Rules are rules, as she reminds me. Ah well, it was definitely worth it.
The more financially dependent I become and the tighter my wife’s purse strings, even small sums seem like  big wads of cash. Before entering our WLM, I thought sums like a hundred bucks no big deal.  When Roxanne and I entered our WLM and she put me on an allowance, smaller and smaller sums began to seem big. She won’t let me get near a hundred bucks now, so that amount seems to me like a fortune! What’s more, Roxanne has made it clear to me know that that is  more money than I can safely handle on my own. So now, if I were to get such a sum, I’d be so afraid to handle it alone that I would have to run to Roxanne for help. For a guy on a $10-a-week allowance, believe me, $30 is a really big sum.
The only way I can get money is to ask Roxanne for it.  She gives me an allowance, but once I have spent it, I do some fretting and nail biting to come up with a sufficient justification for a little more. Roxanne did give me an ATM card, but it “lives” in her purse. I only use it when she wants me to.
Since my Valentine’s Day presents, which Roxanne really loved, I have been utterly broke.  When she gave me my weekly allowance this week, instead of being the usual $10, it was only $4 since I’m paying back the money she gave me for the presents. I guess I’m going to be pretty broke for the next few weeks. I’ll definitely be doing some begging and butt-kissing for any more that I might get from Roxanne.
By the way, I occasionally get small royalty checks in my name from some work I did years ago. Of course, I don’t actually see those checks, since Roxanne opens all the mail, but as soon as she gets them, she shows me where to endorse them over to her. There have been other refunds in my name, which she has me sign over to her, since checks can only be deposited to her account.
Last week, while Roxanne was sick with flu, she sent me on an errand to get some medications at the drugstore and make a bank deposit and, while I was there, get some information from her banker. I did as told, without asking for my usual detailed instructions. I wanted to let her rest and was determined to get this job done on my own. But before I left, I did go in to ask Roxanne if there was anything else she wanted. She asked me if I understood exactly what she wanted done. I repeated her instructions, but apparently got some of the banking instructions slightly off. Roxanne instructed me again and then wrote everything down in detail. Again she asked if I were sure I could handle her errand on my own. Needless to say, this made me extremely nervous, so obviously nervous that she called the bank and asked her banker to help me when I arrived.
Now I have to confess that this was not exactly rocket science, but Roxanne knows my limitations, and when you have no real role in finances, as has been the case with me the past several years, well, then, something that is even a little “out of the box” can get complicated.
At the bank, I spoke to Roxanne’s banker, and it was she who made the deposit. The woman was really very nice to me. Of course, she knew that I did not have my name on any of these accounts so she could not discuss the accounts with me. She only told me about some financial services that Roxanne was interested in, and yes, this, too, was over my head and beyond my pay grade because I haven’t a clue about this stuff. My obvious difficulty in understanding her led the woman to give me several brochures and some printouts of these services. Armed with this material, I completed the rest of my errand and returned home.
Roxanne was delighted with me for not only nursing her and waiting on her hand and foot the rest of the day, but especially for trying to take care of stuff that I was not capable of, in order to serve and please her.
Roxanne and I were watching a sitcom where this husband was getting angry at his wife for getting their car serviced at a cost of $600, the sitcom husband arguing that they were being ripped off. Roxanne and I both thought this was funny. Funny because Roxanne never discusses any sort of expenditure with me, and wouldn’t even think of doing so. She simply makes the decision and acts accordingly. There’s no doubt that she has both the authority and the competence for such decisions in every aspect of our family life. She would never let me handle such large sums. Of course, Roxanne manages this and much larger sums of money regularly, confidently and flawlessly. Faced with such a transaction, I’d be begging her to take over if she was there. And, if not, I’d be petrified!
Since all our financial instruments are in Roxanne’s name, there is little likelihood that I’d ever be called on to make a decision so clearly above me. Even if I momentarily forgot my limitations and tried to act without Roxanne’s permission and supervision, I’d be totally helpless, and afterward could count of being dressed down in short order for making such an unauthorized attempt.
I don’t even think in terms of big money, since Roxanne rarely lets me handle anything more than my weekly allowance. And if she does give me more—$20 or, on rare occasions, as much as $40—she tells me exactly what to do with it.
My submale pal sent me an email about his wife buying the family car while relegating him to quietly sitting with the children while she handled the negotiations. This reminded me of the way Roxanne now takes me to her hairdresser to have my hair cut. She makes the appointment to coincide with her haircut and then instructs her hairdresser exactly the way she wants mine done. I have nothing to say about it, while Roxanne and her hairdresser discuss and decide everything. When we are done, Roxanne pays for everything. I am reduced to a child, incapable of deciding on even his own haircut.
Another example I’ve experienced is when Roxanne gives me permission to get some money from her purse. I feel exactly like a kid going into mommy’s forbidden adult world. It’s actually exciting because it is so above my level.
You may wonder what would happen to me if I ever thought about spending, say, several hundred dollars without her permission, assuming that I actually had access to that amount of money, which I don’t.
Well, first Roxanne would give me the “look,” which is just the quiet before the storm. That alone would make my heart sink. But when she moved on to “hands on hips” and “finger-wagging” and a “tongue lashing,” I would just collapse in tearful surrender. Roxanne does not have to yell and scream to put the fear of God into me, or to teach me exactly what’s what.
But sometimes I still speak up about money when I should keep quiet. Once, we had to get our A/C repaired, and the repair service guy was going to charge about $400. I assumed that we should go with that first estimate, but Roxanne told me I didn’t know what I was talking about and handled the matter herself. I felt put out at being dismissed, but, of course, she was proved right. The next day she had another repair service come and they charged $75 less for the same job. I spent the evening apologizing to my wife for being such a ditz.
On other occasions, Roxanne will more gently dismiss my financial suggestions with a smile and a “Sweetie, let Momma handle this, it’s way over your head.” At other times she will simply ignore my opinion, as if I never opened my mouth.
There was this one time that I actually told Roxanne that I thought I had learned to handle money and asked her for a chance to prove it. Her response was “Hmm, I see.” A couple days later she gave me a little present of a new wallet filled with play money. This was humiliating, of course, but also humorous and very apt. Roxanne smiled, having made her point.
There have been other times since when we went together to purchase something, and she has jokingly given me my play money wallet. At these times she has told me that I could pretend that I had real money and make pretend decisions. Which means, of course, that I should “know my place,” and keep quiet and remain n the background while my wife handles business. And, yes, I do sometimes pretend that I am capable of handling such adult transactions, if she would only let me. But it’s just pretend. Thank heavens, I have Roxanne to do all the thinking and deciding.
And I have to admit that play money makes sense because I have bought some really dumb things in the past, and this is her way of reminding me of that.

Tuesday, November 13, 2018


[Note from Thomas Lavalle: “House Mouse” is the cybername of one of one of my submissive “e-migos” (online friends) from years ago. A very sweet guy, by the way, typical of many submissive husbands. Before we lost touch, “house mouse” gave me permission to reprint these extracts from his subhubby journal, so long as I changed the names, which I’ve done. Stay tuned—there’s more to come.]
Roxanne and I met in college. She was lovely and feisty and we hit it off from the start. I was especially impressed with her desire to protect me. We were also strictly vanilla and happy. In my early 20s, I had already discovered my submissiveness, but had no way to express it. The only information or literature there was in those days was S/M stuff, which did not appeal to me and I knew would turn Roxanne off completely. Nevertheless, I tried to introduce some very mild forms to her and she did not reject me outright, which was encouraging. We discussed it but she ultimately set it aside.

When we graduated and married and moved into our own home, I was starting out as a graphic artist—actually in what was then called layout and desktop publishing—and my wife took on various kinds of office jobs. I made the bulk of the income, and we shared financial/decision making duties, but she did most of the housework. I tried to introduce playful ideas of “light” femdom into our lives, and Roxanne was understanding, and maybe a bit amused, though not really receptive. Several such attempts failed over the years.
But I had a major weakness that would help lead to our future WLM. I was a mess with the finances. I am quite absent-minded and lost bills, correspondence and checks. I tended to overspend, and usually on silly stuff. Boyish hobbies, you know?.
Roxanne took over more control of bill paying and monitored my spending more and more. She was simply brilliant at money management and began to leave me out of the decision loop more and more. She would let me mail bills, and instruct me to “hold them in your hand so you won’t lose them.” I chafed at this treatment, not realizing it would lead to a fulfilling WLM. But Roxanne, knowing me better, kept treating me like this.
One weekend there was a credit card sales telephone call asking for me. Roxanne took the call and handed it over to me, but she stayed, stood over me and had me tell her what the saleswoman said, and Roxanne told me exactly what to say back.
By the time the call was concluded, I felt like my wife’s hand puppet. It was great! This and many other such instances moved me toward a new understanding of my desires and a new tack towards a WLM.
Roxanne, meanwhile, went back to school and got an MBA. I took great pride in helping more at home and even typing her papers to give her more time to study. After she graduated she took a corporate executive job at a small firm.
Her career became a launching pad to our WLM. I had mismanaged our credit cards enough for her to take a more controlling role in our finances. I timidly suggested we put everything in her name, for ease of management, and to help her executive career more. If she took more control at home, I explained, it would help her at work.
She agreed instantly, and it did work—for her, for me, for us! She began to take even more control at home as her successes at work increased. She got promotions and raises so that quickly she was outearning me—and substantially. We continued to move finances and assets to Roxanne’s name and she took ever more control. At some point along there I found myself doing all the housework, and every evening anxiously awaiting Roxanne's inspection. "You'll get better at it," she assured me, and I'm proud to say that I have.
And so it has gone, gradually yet gathering momentum, over about fifteen years of happy marriage. We are happier now than ever.
I am convinced that the wife’s complete financial control is essential to any well-functioning WLM, for the simple reason that she must have ultimate authority.
Roxanne and I laid the foundation for our WLM several years ago. Previously, we had joint accounts and, as I said, began our marriage managing our money together. I proved to be less than stellar at this, however, while she was quite brilliant. As a result, Roxanne soon took over the finances while I gladly took care of more of the domestic duties, letting her handle all the more important matters.

At some point, Roxanne suggested we put all our assets in her name to make finance management easier for her. However, she did voice some concerns, saying she was worried that this step would make me feel emasculated. Could I handle it, she wondered?
I knew she was right—that it would emasculate me. But I ignored my real fears and did my best to ease her concerns, and so we went ahead, shifting everything to her. Roxanne took my name off all assets and bank accounts, even utility and other billing accounts. She even took my name off of the telephone book, leaving hers alone. She came to love having this authority and control over me and sought more.
I had been irresponsible with credit cards, so she closed my credit card accounts and paid them off. I still needed a card, so Roxanne gave me one on her account, for emergencies and some of our domestic expenses, and stipulated that I could only use it with permission. Believe me, she watches that account like a hawk! When Roxanne handed me my new card, this was one of those emasculating moments I will never forget!
When I first saw my wife’s name alone on her checkbook after we had transferred our bank accounts to her name, I knew that I had reached that point of no return. I’d lost all say in financial matters and would never have the ability to make another financial decision. Everything would come from my wife.
Yes, there are still times when I wish I had at least even a little tiny bit of financial control. Now, I have to run to my wife first for any purchase over ten dollars. I try to approach her when she is in a good mood, fret over her pending decision and, when it’s no, occasionally beg her to change her mind.
But then, when I see how easily she handles some complex financial matters with ease, and realize what a hash I would have made of it, I am so glad my wife is the CEO/CFO in our house. Her house, I mean, since it is now in her name and she runs everything. So, yes, I do have occasional regrets; but then realize that this is best for us and for me, and I would not change my childlike financial status even if I could (which of course I can’t).
Which reminds me of another such moment, about a year ago, when she was arranging to remove my name from all the bank accounts, leaving them hers alone. While we were sitting in the banker’s office, Roxanne told me—right in front of the female bank executive—that I would no longer have access to any money, since my paycheck is direct deposited to that account. I guess I hadn’t really thought it through. That was for me a major emasculating moment, but by this time Roxanne had no concerns about any doubts I might have. She insisted on this arrangement, which was both terrifying and exciting!
Roxanne now handles all of our financial affairs without me, and I know little or nothing about any of it. I have many times proved myself to be a total ditz about money, so Roxanne has excluded my input and I have only the $20 a week that she gives me for an allowance. If I need more, I must run to her—usually for an additional $5 or $10. She can be generous, but never gives me more than about $30 at one time, reminding me that I have no head for money. When I want something badly and ask her, instead of giving me the money she will often buy the item for me as though I were a child. This is why I sometimes feel I am entering a WLM second childhood.

Despite getting a big raise in her corporate job, Roxanne recently cut my allowance—from $20 a week to $10.  She didn’t discuss it with me, just informed me and cut my allowance, although she let me know that it wasn’t a punishment. She felt that the $20 weekly was getting to be a bit too much for me to handle. There’s no point in arguing with her. She knows what is best and does it and doesn’t feel any need to consult me.
(End Part One; stayed tuned for Part 2)