Thursday, May 10, 2018

LADY SUSAN: I HEAR BELLS


(An earlier version of this material  appeared several years ago on the Worshipping Your Wife blog under the by-line of Lady Susan’s daughter, Nancy. For this reprise, Lady Susan has been kind enough to provide several updates and useful additions.—Thomas Lavalle)

The bells are a wonderful tradition that the men of our matriarchal family have embraced. When my son-in-law, Dennis, and family visitors Michael and James hear bells, they come running! It’s one of the first lessons Dennis learned when he met our family and one of the first lessons he passed on. “Go to the bell, and ask what you can do,” my sister Julie instructed him. And he did, the very first weekend he visited us.


In our family the women gather in the living and sitting rooms while the men congregate in the kitchen. The men not only prepare dinner but look after the women, keeping coffee fresh, serving drinks, and lighting cigarettes. It’s a great way to show respect for the women and acknowledge male subservience. The problem was that when needs arose, women didn’t want to call for someone and they certainly didn’t want the men constantly interrupting.

My sister came up with a solution. She got the idea from a visit to an old Edwardian mansion, now a museum. The wall of the servants’ quarters had lights, one for each room in the house. When one lit up, a servant quickly went to see what was needed. What a great idea! But instead of switches and lights, why not bells? The ladies loved the idea. The bells were bought, the men trained, and it has worked like a charm. If one of the women needs something, she simply rings the bell. A man comes, serving tray in hand, curtsies, and politely asks, “How may I serve you ladies?” It’s an opportunity for him not only to serve the one who rang the bell, but to take orders from any or all the women and to gather up glasses, cups, and ashtrays.

Some “house rules”—we call them “protocols”that dictate proper behavior regarding the bells:

·        When a bell rings, a gentleman sets everything else aside to go to it; bells are his priority. ALWAYS!
·        Men are “on the clock”; when a bell rings he has a generous 20 seconds to respond.
·        If a group of men is in the house only one of them should answer a bell, but all must take turns doing so.
·        A tray is mandatory; everything, even a pack of matches, is served from and removed on a tray. Medieval knights had shields; the males in our family all have unique serving trays.
·        A formal, fancy apron and, at a minimum, ballet flats are also mandatory.

·        Aprons MUST be clean! A soiled apron should be replaced immediately; one is NEVER used to serve a woman! NEVER!
·        Once he receives an order, a man’s priority is to fill it, quickly and correctly.
·        All requests taken at the same time are served at the same time.
·        Men should not comment or engage in conversation when answering a bell. Men are ONLY there to serve and should act accordingly.
·        Men speak ONLY when spoken to!
·        Politeness and deference are the rule: “Ladies, how may I be of service?”; “Yes, Madame,” “Yes, Ma’am!”
·        Men MUST curtsy or, at a minimum, stoop and bow when entering or leaving a room.
·        Women should expect to be served and should not use please and thank you with any male. A women is encouraged to be direct and abrupt with males. Her communications with him, if any, should reinforce feelings of her superiority and of his subservience.

Let me add that the bells aren’t just for serving at dinner parties. If I see something that needs to be cleaned up, for example, I’ll ring a bell and summon Dennis to take care of it.



And bells aren’t just for women. Most of the men in the family also have one, but their purpose is, of course, quite different. A man will present his bell to a woman or group of women he wants to be privileged to serve. Dennis does this every day with me. He brings me his bell and a mixed drink—on a tray of course—and presents them, telling me he’s now at my service. I take full advantage!

*

Saturday, April 14, 2018

LADY JULIE: MATRIARCHAL OWNERSHIP OF MALES


(Note from Thomas Lavalle: As noted in previous posts, Lady Susan and her sister, Lady Julie, are prominent figures in a multigenerational matriarchal family—or families, as their influence continues to spread. Lady Susan’s daughter, Nancy, and her submissive husband dennis, both posted extensively on Mark Remond’s Worshipping Your Wife blog.)

When a man is taken in marriage, he is responsible to his wife’s family, not to the family in which he was raised. A man's first obligation is to obey his Wife. His next obligation would be to his Mother-in-law and then to his Sisters-in-law. He is, of course, to show deference and respect to all women. And it is vital that his own family be aware of this.



We have had situations arise where there was a need to further underscore the clarification of a new husband's loyalties. Professing vows to his wife, her mother, and even her grandmother is effective. A few gentlemen have taken their wife's name as a way of doing this. This has a real impact since it punctuates the fact that he is now a member of her family.

Through our local Women’s Center (mentioned in previous postings by Lady Susan), we’ve had quite a few experiences with men taking their wife’s name for any number of reasons and having their families object. But his family's consternation rarely lasts, since these women soon discover his happiness within the new FLR. — Lady Julie

Sunday, March 25, 2018

LADY SUSAN: HOW OUR MALES CELEBRATED ‘INTERNATIONAL WOMEN’S DAY’


International Women’s Day, as I hope you know, is celebrated on March 8 every year. It has become a focal point in the movement for women’s rights—and for women’s supremacy, at least in our extended matriarchal clan.

I also hope that all the male readers of this blog have March 8 marked as a red-letter day on their calendars, and that they celebrated the occasion this month with some form of activism in support of Women.

You DID, didn’t you? We certainly did.

My sister Julie and I had several house guests for an extended visit—a relative, Carol, along with her husband, Dave, and their three children—daughter, Morgan, aged 19, and sons Michael and James, both 20.


This is a female-led family under Carol’s leadership, with her daughter Morgan, in charge of enforcing her mother’s dictates whenever Mom is out. (You can read more about Carol’s FLR family here.)

To celebrate International Women’s Day, we had all four males—Dave, Michael and James, along with my son-in-law Dennis—take part in activities sponsored by the local Women’s Center. As a bonus, at Dennis’ office, there were readings and speeches that centered on women and the truly incredible progress they have made and are continuing to make.

Carol, Dennis’ executive VP (not to be confused with our relative Carol), and Joan, the VP of technology, conducted women-only focus groups where they dispelled any doubts that theirs was a women-centric company. In 2017, Carol noted, company promotions were granted exclusively to women—highly qualified women! Joan noted that while the company has made significant progress, “the numbers aren’t there yet,” but that she would continue to act affirmatively to promote even more women.

As I said, those were the women-only focus groups. There were also focus groups for men, with attendance mandatory for Dennis.

Afterward he returned home to take Morgan, Dave, Michael and James to a rally and march from downtown to the Women’s Center. They all carried signs proclaiming their belief in the superiority – not the equality – of women. Examples:

THE FUTURE IS FEMALE
END PATRIARCHY
WOMEN – ACCEPT FEMALE POWER, MEN – EMBRACE FEMALE AUTHORITY

Following Dennis’ lead, James and Michael got very quickly into the spirit of the rally. All three volunteered supportive statements to the attending media, although they were not sure that they got on the air.

Dave, however, was another story. His participation had to be coaxed by his daughter, Morgan the entire time, and he really caught hell when they got home. If Nancy and Carol hadn’t been getting ready for a date that evening, his talking-to would have been a lot worse, believe me.

Sensing another opportunity to serve the superior sex, Michael asked the women if he could help them with their preparations and was given the privilege of ironing their dresses and helping them select shoes and jewelry. This was a real compliment to Michael, since it showed the women’s confidence in his knowledge of female fashion. After the women had left for their date, Dave looked for the TV remote, but Morgan had taken it. As a result, all the males spent the evening in aprons giving the house a thorough cleaning. They finished around two in the morning, just as the ladies were returning from their date.

Michael, James and Dennis returned to the Women’s center on Saturday, March 10, where Dennis was teaching an ironing class as part of the Housekeeping 101 course that The Center runs periodically. Dennis was instructing six new male homemakers in the intricacies of ironing complex garments such as pleated skirts.

As I believe I’ve mentioned before, Dennis loves to iron feminine clothing, and his attitude rubs off on his students. After ironing, the group—which included Michael and James—participated in a housekeeping practicum, house cleaning for women who have agreed to allow their homes to be used by the students to apply their skills.

But, as they say on infomercials, wait, there’s more. All three males spent that Saturday evening at the lingerie store helping with stocking, cleaning and redoing the displays. Dennis informed me that they finished up at one in the morning.

Altogether a wonderful and educational celebration of female empowerment for our males.

—Lady Susan and Goddess Julie

PS. In addition to all the above, Julie, Carol and I arranged for Dennis, Dave, Michael, and James to do a little shoe worshiping. Yes, we still have a pedestal with a high heel shoe for male adoration in a prominent place in our living room! (You can read more about this shrine here.)


There was some extra shoe fun with the ladies giving the males a brush-up lesson in how to walk in heels. We went fairly easy on Michael and James, letting them strut their stuff in kitten heels, but father Dave was given heels a bit higher, as was Dennis. (But Dennis more than competent in heels. After all, I make him wear them every day while doing his chores.)


Thursday, March 1, 2018

DEBRA’S SON: ‘UPDATE ON OUR GROWING GYNARCHIC FAMILY’

(A note from Tom Lavalle: Regular readers will recall previous posts from “Debra’s Son,” detailing his lifelong submissive journey—growing up in a decidedly female-led household, then, as a young man, dedicating himself to caring for the children of his recently divorced dominant sister; and, rewardingly, his exciting courtship of, and marriage to, the super-smart, uber-sexy and delightfully dominant Shayna (though she prefers the term “gynarchic”). Shayna and Debra’s son now have two beautiful children— a boy, 4, and a girl who completes her first year this April. As you might expect in a seriously gynarchic family, Debra’s son has been given the all-important duties of primary caregiver and housekeeper. He was kind enough to respond to my request for a family update with the following:)

Yes, Thomas, our little baby girl “officer candidate”* is growing like, well, not like the proverbial weed, but like a very rare and beautiful rose. Our son is crazy about her, and though he’s still small, I make sure he feels important by being my “helper” with her. And of course I make sure he sees me serve, obey, and defer to his mother as often as possible, and in the most casual ways, as though my behavior was as natural as a spring shower.

I know I've said it before, but when it comes to boys, I really believe in “example” above all else in order to inculcate our matriarchal values to them. I want to raise our son the way I was raised, but our society doesn't foster much pride in service anymore (in my opinion), and never has in terms of female-led families. What we need (we, as in my personal family) is more of a community of matriarchal households, but I suppose every family like mine can say that. Some of my wife’s female friends are dominants in the sense that their boyfriends or husbands are willing or at least tolerant cuckolds, but that’s not the same as the kind of matriarchal structure our family has.

I’m very lucky, though, in that I still have my own parents, who are both still healthy and unambiguously gynarchic (as is one of my sisters). My parents came for a visit recently. It’s very interesting to have two dominant women in the house when they’re inlaws. There was a certain amount of tension there, but not in a threatening way. My dad and I enjoyed it immensely, with no disrespect at all to the ladies in our lives. Deep down, I know my mom still thinks my wife is too young for me. She subtly scrutinizes how my wife does things, but is not openly critical. And although I worship my mother and call myself Debra’s son online, my primary allegiance is to Shayna, as it should be.

It was really fun and satisfying to see how things progressed during my parents’ four-day stay. I could tell my mom was secretly impressed by Shayna’s continued dedication to physical fitness and her ability to look sexy yet tasteful even in the most casual clothes, especially after two pregnancies. My wife’s midriff is a flat as ever now, and she loves showing it off in sports bras and pants. Mom, for her part, is in her sixties but still looks gorgeous. She admits she’s had a little work done, but just enough to enhance her natural beauty. Of course I would say something like this, being her son, but she really does look like a Susan Sarandon with different color hair.

Setting looks aside, my mom is spiritually and philosophically inclined, while my wife displays her intellectual side through her tech savvy. Once the two dominant women stopped metaphorically circling one another like two gorgeous wrestlers in a ring, it was gratifying to watch them impart their particular wisdom.

At one point, my wife said to my mom, “I know we don’t have to worry much about the boys, but I’ll show you some ways to make sure you maintain access to any electronic devices used in the home.” The “boys” are dad and I, naturally. Shayna also showed my Mom the latest in other home security products, which is part of her expertise. My Mom was genuinely interested, especially in home security, since she and my dad are both living alone now. And, since the birth of her two children, my wife is more interested the comfort and stress relief that goddess wisdom and spirituality can offer, which my mom was more than happy to discuss.

By the third night my wife had invited my mom to go out with her. It took a lot of coaxing, because, as confident as Mom is, I know she felt like she’d be way out of place in Shayna’s crowd. Shayna assured her that wasn’t true, and Mom finally agreed. Dad had gone shopping with Mom and helped her pick out a gorgeous red gown with an almost scandalous cleavage line, but my Mom, I’m not ashamed to say, can easily pull it off. And Shayna can still take a classic little black dress and knock anyone’s eyes out.

Dad and I helped our respective wives dress, which filled me with real joy, however strange that might sound. Hearing my wife tell my Mom about the girlfriends she knew, and a couple young guys she knew who would just melt over a woman like my Mom was surreal for my dad and me, although we had both gone through this scenario individually many times. As we listened yet tended to our tasks like dutiful valets, we each tried our best to make our goddesses as beautiful as possible. In fact, all during my parents’ time here, I think my dad and I were in a sort of unspoken competition as to who could be more solicitous and obedient to his lady. I think we were trying to prove to each other how well our wives had trained us!

As our ladies left, my wife uttered the line I know by heart, changing only the singular “I” in the last line to “we”: “I’ll call to check on the children. Don’t wait up, babe, and don’t worry. We’ll be home when we get home.”

Dad and I talked a lot while they were out, and I sensed that he and Mom are still so much in love and getting along well. We never said it outright, but we gave each other the impression that we have no regrets. I know dad is happy that I’m happy and vice versa.

Mom and Shayna came home about 2:30 a.m. Dad and I were still waiting up, which my wife forgives because she knows I can’t help worrying about her. Shayna very rarely drinks (and besides she was driving), but I could tell Mom was a little tipsy. As they came through the door they were giggling and talking about some guy whose lap Mom had been sitting on, along with more graphic details I won’t repeat.

They sort of clammed up when they saw us, and my Mom was a little annoyed that we weren’t in bed. Shayna explained that she was lenient with me on that point for the reasons above. Anyway, I thought it was wonderful that my Mom and Shayna finally got past what I feel was a long-term barrier in their relationship, for whatever reason.

Mom also talked to me privately before she left. She said she was very proud of me, the way I was running the house and taking care of the children. She told me that Shayna had told her,”You raised a good-hearted, responsible son. I might never have married if not for him, because I didn’t think men like him existed.” Mom took that as a great compliment, and I confess I did, too.

“Females are going to have more privileges from birth, and will gain ever more authority as they mature. It is up to you to show the other males how to react. It’s likely that girls will have the bigger bedrooms, more privacy and downtime, more autonomy and money, and, as soon as they are able, the privilege of command. To use a military parallel, you might be an experienced master sergeant, but as your adolescent daughter matures, she becomes a lieutenant, and you have to recognize her authority and obey her within the limits of reason and safety. All females are officers or officer candidates, and males are perpetually enlisted. Your job is to simultaneously aid your wife in teaching the “Officers” leadership skills while setting an example for the “enlisted” and preventing too much resentment among them.”

Thursday, January 18, 2018

LADY SUSAN: SHOWCASING ANOTHER FEMALE-LED FAMILY

I thoroughly enjoyed Becky Sue’s comments on female-led families. We have female-led families within our social circle, and I can report that these structures work very well indeed. Female-led families instill a sense of superiority, privilege, and entitlement in the females, while males develop an appropriate appreciation of their subservient role and their need to comply with the wishes of the females.

We have a relative, Carol, who, with her teenage daughter, Morgan, her husband, Dave, and sons Michael and James, maintains a female-led family. There’s no question that Carol calls the shots. Morgan is the youngest but has fully embraced the female-led family dynamic. She has no hesitation in ordering a male to do chores while she and her teenage friends chat in the family room; she understands female privilege. Nor does Morgan hold back at enforcing her mother’s dictates when Mom is out; the girl also understands male responsibility.

Recently we witnessed Morgan confronting Dave, her father, when he turned on the TV. Television watching is strictly prohibited the males unless their chores are done and female permission is sought and given.

“That’s not allowed until chores are done and only if Mom says it’s okay,” Morgan asserted, “so turn it off now!”

Dave complied and doubtless expected the transgression would be forgotten. It wasn’t. When Carol came home, Morgan reported the incident. Dave apologized, seeking mercy but receiving none. Between them, mother and daughter decided on a loss of all male TV privileges for a week as being a fair punishment.

Dave agreed. Of course he did!

The dynamic of this female-led household is a constant; it isn’t suspended when the family has visitors. To the contrary, it’s often showcased in the interest of evangelizing for the lifestyle. During social interactions women have a forum to exercise their authority while males have an opportunity to openly show their commitment to the male-subordinate lifestyle. Indeed, I am happy to report that the males—the father, Dave, and brothers Michael and James—love the opportunity to put on an apron and serve the ladies.

It’s also important that males demonstrate a proper attitude, especially in front of other males. Men are followers not leaders, and consequently they will all follow the lead of the properly trained ‘‘superior male,” to use a somewhat oxymoronic term. Males committed to the female supremacist lifestyle become useful tools in the hands of the women, but please don’t assume that such delegated male authority over other males is on a par with the supreme authority women have. No way!

But perhaps the topic of limited male authority is a subject for another discussion.

During a recent visit to us by Carol and her daughter, Morgan, and the two sons, Michael and James, the latter complained that their sister was spending too much time in the kitchen supervising the men. Now many men would simply join the chorus of complainers, but our well-trained male, Dennis, wasn’t about to let this happen.

Seeking to bring the brothers in line, Dennis commented, “Well, Morgan just wants things to go right so she’s looking in on us. And she’s right to do so, because we men can be so scatterbrained and forgetful while the ladies have it all under control.”

“So,” Dennis went on, “Morgan is really doing us a big favor, as women always do when they keep us in line.”

Michael and James sheepishly agreed. But Dennis pressed the opportunity further by asking the brothers to recall a time when they were admonished by a woman and what the result was. Both boys had been strictly corrected for their housekeeping faux pas, and both had to admit that, as a direct result, their domestic skills had been greatly improved. So, yes, they had definitely benefited from the one-way “dialogue” with the women in question.

When their sister Morgan came back into the kitchen to request some chairs be moved, I am happy to report that she was greeted with curtsies all around, a fitting demonstration of male deference and, perhaps, a bit of unstated apology for James’ earlier inappropriate comments. As soon as Morgan left the kitchen, Dennis suggested to the brothers, “Well, since your sister wants this done, it must be important, so let’s do it!” The chairs were quickly moved as the teenaged girl had ordered.

Later the males served dinner, desserts, and drinks and then moved to the kitchen for their own dinners. Once the kitchen was thoroughly cleaned, Dennis and the two brothers were invited back to listen in on the women’s conversations. However, forgetting the sage advice to all males to “speak only when spoken to,” Michael got a little too talkative and had to be reined in by his sister, who reminded him that male conversation was of little interest to females and that he should instead “shut up and listen!”

This female-led family dynamic, as in these examples, is exciting to watch, showcasing as it does a total role reversal from the antiquated “norms” of patriarchy.

—Lady Susan




      

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Tuesday, December 19, 2017

LADY SUSAN: OBEDIENCE

Obedience on the part of the male is the single most important aspect of a successful Female-led relationship. In our family women have long given the orders and men have followed them. Males followed a female-dictated routine of domestic chores structured to ensure everything was done AND done according to the standards set forth by the women. If things weren’t done right, they were done over and over again, if need be, until things were done properly. Too many mistakes and appropriate discipline was administered. Such discipline might include loss of privileges, extra chores, closer supervision by one of the females, or even physical punishment. The family Matron would determine the need for discipline and who would administer it.

Routine and structure are essential to maintaining discipline and ensuring all chores are done properly and on time. Our rules, the Protocols, spell things out for males in great detail; it’s not enough to say “Clean the living room.” What does that mean? Well, the Protocols spell it out, all 50-plus items, to ensure that the job of cleaning the living room will be done properly and to the women’s satisfaction. Men like routine and they like being told what to do. Ladies, make sure you tell them what to do!

There’s more to obedience than cleaning, of course; there’s behavior! Males speak when spoken to, otherwise they remain quiet, deferring conversation to the women. Honorifics are important, too. It’s “Yes, Ma’am” or “No, Ma’am.” Never an excuse. “Miss” is a must for younger females. “Yes, Miss Morgan.” Females are always accorded a curtsy or, if the male is serving, a stoop and bow. There’s a right way to serve a drink, clear a place setting, and light a cigarette for a woman. When females speak, men listen, listen for tidbits of information and enlightenment that only females can provide.

—Lady Susan

Friday, November 17, 2017

LADY SUSAN & COUNTESS JULIE: REFLECTIONS ON FINANCIAL CONTROL

(Note from Thomas Lavalle: As previously noted here, “Lady Susan” is the mother of “Nancy” (of “Nancy and Dennis,” whose many postings can still be read on Mark Remond’s Wife Worship blog). “Countess Julie” is Susan’s sister. Both women are guiding lights of a thriving, multi-generational matriarchal clan.)


The following are some comments on financial control that follow from your recent posts. I hope these are useful. In future postings, we may comment on things we’ve done regarding power of attorney, home and car ownership, and so on. The plain fact of the matter is that men love obeying women, and there’s no better thing for women to control than money.

We have been counseling a small but vibrant group of younger, professional women who are interested in having more control over lesser-educated, stay-at-home husbands, or househusbands. One of the proven techniques of imposing women’s will concerns strict financial controls over males. Dennis tells me that having the wife in complete control of the couple’s money has a tremendous impact. Some men are initially frustrated with the consequent financial limitations, but all come to find the strictures imposed by women as being beneficial – they are freed from financial worries! Let’s consider some suggestions and observations from our FLR workshops with both women and men.


Women should strive to take financial controls or at least exercise significant influence early in a relationship. Women should position themselves to take as much financial advantage of men as possible. After all, men, through society’s patriarchy, have been unjustly accruing wealth and excluding women – it’s time to get some – all! – of that back, ladies. Women should be taking as much financial advantage of men as possible. An example?

When Dennis met Nancy in college at a feminist meeting, he was studying on a full fellowship, while Nancy had no such arrangement. She wanted an off-campus apartment instead of living in the dormitories and was able to manipulate Dennis into renting an apartment for her. She consulted a feminist attorney who structured an arrangement that committed Dennis but benefited Nancy. Dennis would lease the apartment for a period of a year and then sublease it to Nancy for $1 per month. Nancy had an irrevocable right to renew the lease for an additional year for $1 a month, if she so desired.

Dennis was also made responsible for utilities and upkeep. Originally he hired a maid service to provide upkeep but eventually came twice a week, at a time convenient to Nancy, to clean the apartment himself. Nancy was never there when Dennis cleaned, however; he was let in by a woman friend who provided instructions and inspected his work after he was done. At no time did Dennis “share” the apartment with Nancy, and she stresses that this was not a “sugar daddy” situation. He received nothing in return other than the satisfaction of “giving back” some of the wealth he had accrued due to patriarchy. And, of course, he was given the opportunity to demonstrate that he was a submissive male, a fact that definitely drove his relationship with Nancy.

Note: Nancy was successful because she worked with an attorney. Women are well advised to seek legal help in such situations and when formulating important documents such as prenuptial agreements.

The Internet and electronic banking make it easy for women to control men’s access to money. A comment was made on this blog that a husband’s company would only deposit his paycheck into a joint account – no problem! She can do two things: 1) keep the account number and password to herself, and 2) set up an automatic transfer of his paycheck into her account. Problem solved! Once the funds are in her account, she’s free to pay bills, manage investments, and spend on herself as she sees fit.

Don’t forget to look in on your husband’s benefits, savings plan, deductions, and so on. Benefits can usually be accessed electronically. Women need to be aware that a favorite trick men play is to withdraw money from a savings plan for frivolous use – question any withdrawals.

Know what’s in your man’s wallet – randomly check. Empty the wallet! Are there any receipts for purchases you didn’t approve? Any credit cards he shouldn’t have? Confiscate any money above what you approve he can have.

Does hubby have a company credit card? If so, get access to the statement and review the charges; they should all be business-related. Make sure they are! Men sometimes charge things on a company card to get around any wife-imposed spending restrictions.

We don’t recommend women involving their husbands with finances; ideally, they will be fully involved with housework and will not have the time to dedicate to money management. Besides, the majority of men look on women’s handling finances as beneficial. In our experience, most men don’t really want to do the money-management thing.

Men should have an allowance that provides them with some small amount for miscellaneous expenses. Men should be accountable for the money thus provided. As an example, if we find that Dennis has frivolously spent his allowance, that allowance is reduced and a fine, payable to Nancy or me, may be imposed.

If your man needs extra money, try having him “earn” it! Have him house-clean for your women friends, for example. Dennis does this and also works at a boutique and cleans rooms at a local hotel. He never sees any of this money, however; I do – by arrangement with those he’s working for, and I take 25% off the top – female privilege!

We also have Dennis set aside 2/3 of his allowance – 1/3 for charity donations, usually to women’s causes, and 1/3 for gift-giving for both Nancy and me, and also for small gifts to women of the family and for women friends. More on this later; but if Dennis needs money for gifts or charity, Nancy and I will consider his needs and usually grant him more money, but NEVER the full amount. It’s one more way of showing control.

Men should have access to a bank card ONLY on a need basis. He should ask permission to use the card, providing justification. The card should be returned immediately after use and receipts provided for the woman’s review of his expenses. We encourage women to question his spending both as a way of exerting control and to encourage his spending wisely. Dennis is chastised if we feel he has overspent.

For large purchases, women should accompany men or eliminate them from the buying process completely. Dennis is involved in buying a dishwasher, washing machine, or iron, since he is their primary user. Usually he is allowed to get what he wants, but we will question him on his choices. We also let the salesperson know that Dennis is the user of all household appliances and that their sales pitch should be directed to him. For larger purchases like buying a car or a home remodel, Dennis has no say whatsoever.

These are just a few things to consider. It’s been a long time since women were able to secure financial control simply by having their man hand over their checks on payday, but financial controls are definitely possible and, in most cases, men are surprisingly receptive.

We have other financial considerations but will save them for a future post.

—Lady Susan & Countess Julie