Friday, September 2, 2016

LEO: GROWING UP IN A MATRIARCHAL HOME, Part Three

As I mentioned in my previous post, in the matriarchal homes ruled over by my mother and her sister, female birthdays were always celebrated as great events. It was, for instance, on my older sister’s 18th birthday (as already noted) that she was given pretty much full authority over me and lost no time in turning me into her personal servant (and very happily so for me, as  I’ve said).
It was on that same birthday, I recall, that my mother also gave my sister full authority over her father,* and believe me, my sister used her new higher position in the household in such a way that both Dad and I quickly learned early to fear her wrath. I will never forget a day when she gave Dad a harsh slapping because he had dared to say that he thought he deserved to be treated with more respect.
The incident started when my sister told him to bring her a cup of coffee. It was actually a direct order, not a request, and she spoke it sharply (apparently she had had a bad day and was in a bad temper), but Dad did not obey instantly, which made her even angrier.

"Why are you keeping me waiting? I told you to bring me a coffee! Do it right now!"
Dad took offense at being barked at like this, but tried to offer his objection in a polite way, as is expected of any male in a strict matriarchal household:
"Dear, you don’t need to treat me that way. You can be a little respectful..."
"How dare you!” my sister shot back. “Just wait till Mom hears about the rude way you just answered me!"
Hearing this threat, Dad backed down instantly and began to apologize, actually stammering in his attempt to make amends. It was at this point that my sister gave him a couple of harsh slaps.
Dad simply closed his mouth and lowered his head, then went off to obey the order his daughter had just given. (Under our strict matriarchal rules, males may not raise a hand against any female, and certainly not to blunt or protect themselves from a physical reprimand.)
Needless to say, my sister made good on her threat to tell Mom what had happened. That night my father received additional harsh face slaps from his ruling wife and was then made to squeal under the severity of her thick leather belt.
And, yes, I think it’s safe to say that his overall deference and service to his daughter were greatly improved as a result.


* Note from Thomas Lavalle: Attentive readers may note that this timeline accords approximately with the one suggested by Mistress Sandra (Commenting on the Post ‘FEMALE-LED FAMILIES:SUBMISSIVE DADS & DOMINANT DAUGHTERS’  ), i.e., “Later, as a girl gets older, around her late teens, she may be ready to start leading. And at this stage the fathers should be more open about taking orders from their daughters and waiting on them as the opportunities arise. By the time a girl turns 21, she is a woman and deserving of being shown the same respect and obedience as her mother. It would not be out of line if a mother decided that her daughter should be addressed with a 'Yes, Ma’am' and 'No, Ma’am' by her father. She should be in a position of authority to approve or deny any request by her father, and also be in full authority to assign him chores and discipline him as she sees fit. For her position of authority, if it is to be valid, must include the authority to discipline any male in her service.”


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3 comments:

  1. I can certainly relate to the importance of female birthdays. My mom practiced a form of goddess worship, and in addition to birthdays, she also celebrated the menarche. When my sisters experienced this she'd celebrate with a private party for them. Only females were allowed to attend. For my mom, it was an important event on the path to womanhood.

    Mom's policy on authority was to give my sisters as much as they proved they could handle. My dad and I were the only males in the house, and the only time we were allowed to disobey my sisters was when they'd want something unsafe, or something against mom's prior rules, etc. When they were adolescents and teens, they used their authority mainly for their own convenience, such as wanting snacks, or their rooms cleaned or special items laundered, errands run, etc. When they became young adults they were more interested in how dad and I were behaving and what we were doing during our free time, and whether we were taking care of the house, keeping the bills and insurances paid, and performing other duties mom required of us --- in other words, giving mom a break by helping her monitor us.

    Debra's son

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  2. It would be interesting to hear more details about the birthday parties. Who attended? And how was the daughter given authority over the males of the family?
    And im curious as to how other families in the neighborhood viewed Leo's family?
    Did they know about how the family was run? Their neighbors had to at least realize that the Mother was in charge. And that the husband did all of the housework

    Did any of the female neighbors ever disapprove? Or approve? Did any of his Sister's female friends express approval or disaporval? And did any of the wife's or daughter's female friends ever express a desire to have a female led family?
    im guessing that at least a few of the adult female neighbors liked the idea of the husband obeying his wife.and that at least a few of the younger females in the neighborhood, liked the idea of having a brother obey his sister.And the idea of him having to do his sister's laundry,ect

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  3. I am intrigued ! My particular questions relate to the daughter and her father.. Of course, I recognise that, in such a household which is very like mine, the father would have to obey his daughter when she was old enough to assume this resonsibilty. But what about the punishments. We know that she slaps him when he is naughty. But is she allowed to use punishment tools such as a wooden hair brush or a belt. Would he be naked? Would she put him over her knee?
    And what about early bedtimes? We know that the HoH uses this punishment. Does the daughter. Perhaps Leo could give us some details. Please!
    I must go. Mummy has called me.. freddie

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