Saturday, July 1, 2017


(Back in the 1990s I came across a highly trafficked femdom Yahoo! Group (or Club) called “Trained Husbands and Happy Wives.” The creator and presiding domme called herself “Rebeccadom” or “Madam Rebecca.” Her postings were both uncompromising in their assertion of female supremacy and solicitous toward the inferior male sex. Fortunately, I saved some of these pearls of gynarchic wisdom; and, having just come across them, decided to reprint them here. This is the concluding installment (click here for the first one). Should Madam Rebecca learn of my little presumption and contact me (I hope!), either to take them down or leave them in place, I will of course submit.—Thomas Lavalle.)


Cuckolding is an important part of husband training. When I introduced my husband to a lover on the street one day and my lover kissed me in front of him, it had a profound effect. As soon as my husband got home, he ran and sat in the corner without being told.

Sex with my husband present, and watching, is always better than without, and he now knows that as well. Part of why it is so good is that I know he is there. That I have the power to do this and he will humbly obey and stand by the side.

What this all does is make for very exciting sex. I get variety, newness, long-lasting, good, hard sex. If a lover tires out, I can trade him in for a new one without the messiness of a divorce. I can have several lovers at one time. There is no danger to my marriage.

Now I will have my husband tell his side for a second view:

“The first time Rebecca introduced me to her lover, it was in front of a large shopping mall, and he kissed her as I watched, and it was a big kiss. I nearly fainted. I had cramps in my stomach. I could see she was happy and proud. I thought I would die.

“I walked behind my wife and her lover as they walked arm and arm into the mall and shopped together. I was very quiet on the way home, and Madam was very happy and pleasant. When I got home I just went to my room and sat in the corner.

“Madam came in and asked if I was okay. She wanted to know how I felt. I told her I felt defeated. She told me that was good. I asked why. She then told me to come to her chair and sit on the floor and listen. I did.

“She said, ‘For too long now you have been thinking you are a man. Well, you’re not, you’re a sissy. MY sissy.’

“I started to cry and asked, ‘But what if you get rid of me?’

“She took me to her breast and patted my head. She told me that she loved me very much and as long as I was her maid, obeyed her and did a good job, there was no worry.”


Rebecca’s Husband: “I am my wife’s servant, and I love her very, very much. That means it is my job and I want to please her by obeying her wishes and complying with whatever pleases her. She chooses to date and bed other men and to enjoy them sexually. It makes her happy and makes her feel more alive. Therefore, I fully support her efforts and do all that I can to encourage her and enjoy her affairs with other men. Her place is head of the house and undisputed leader and decision-maker. My place is maidservant and obedient husband. My place is to obey and please, hers is to enjoy and take advantage of. She loves to see me scrubbing the floor on my hands and knees as she leaves the house to show I am completely subservient and complying with her desire for me to be defeated in all male characteristics, so I comply.”


Degradation and humiliation are part of a husband’s training, and there is none too bad for him to endure. As he goes through them, he reaches a new understanding of his place at his wife’s feet and realizes a new inner self. I do not consider either of these as a punishment but rather as education and improvement for the male. Both degradation and humiliation need to be done publicly to be most effective. For both of these work best when it is not a secret, but admitted to the world that he is HER property. Until all vestiges of male ego, male superiority, male dominance are eliminated, the femdom marriage does not truly exist. The danger is that if not removed, the male thinks of all t his as a game and plays it for his sexual excitement. He must learn and fully understand that, in a Femdom marriage, he is the object and SHE is the superior being to be obeyed, served and catered to.


Dear Rebecca: How do I keep my husband in line when we have out-of-town vanilla company staying with us? I have discovered over a period of about four years that we will get on track in our lifestyle but then we have an outside disruption (i.e., career-related or vanilla company coming for a visit), and when the disruption is over, it’s as if, I’m starting from square one all again. Do you have any suggestions or discipline I can discreetly implement to keep my husband on track and remembering who’s boss during these times?

Rebeccadom: Yes, I have several. The first is public training and humiliation. It is very important to publicly humiliate your husband. This can be done in many ways, and can be done in areas where you and he are not known, if that is a problem. One way is a remote shock collar used for dog training. It can be hidden under clothes and operated remotely, some models up to long ranges. The severity can be controlled as well.

Another choice is complete ignoring of him along with a self-punishment regime. By this I mean you don’t talk to him, touch him, look at him, even acknowledge he is alive until he undergoes a list of punishments you give him. Males need severe punishment at times to help them do what they know is correct and proper, and it is up to us, the superior females, to be responsible enough to do it.


How do subs/slaves who sport piercings and similar symbols of their relationship with their Dommes handle doctor visits and locker rooms? I don’t know about others, but my sub-husband handles them as if nothing were different. When and if he is asked about this, he replies, “My wife wants me this way.”

Males usually do not ask further questions, but sometimes make an unkind remark. Women (nurses) will sometimes ask further questions, at which time he must tell them that he is in a femdom marriage and that his wife wants him to be constantly reminded that he is.

He is not commonly in a men’s locker room, but I do require that he get a checkup twice a year, so he is exposed to a doctor (he is required to see a female doctor) and nurses.

The point is that femdom marriages are often kept hidden, and if they are to be more common and the norm someday, we need to let others know they exist and that they work and get others interested in them. Advertising this is important to me and should be to all who believe in Female Supremacy as the basis for a happy marriage. You will be amazed how much interest you can drum up and how much fun it is.


Women want and need control. For a woman to take control of a male, he must submit to her. It must be a willing and intentional act on the part of the male to accept her as his superior and obey her in all areas without question. For him to demonstrate this submission he must openly declare this by publicly showing it to be the case. Some form of showing and not just saying it must be demonstrated for the male’s role change to be acknowledged by the woman. Women learn that through these displays a closer bond forms. The Female feels good about her position and that of her male. She feels there is a real commitment and that progress can be measured.


As those of us who live this lifestyle know, none of this is done out of anger or meanness. It is done out of, and with, love—in an effort to create a wonderful, loving marriage. A marriage where the husband obeys and serves his wife. Where he understands that a male’s place is one of domestic service and total subservience to the wisdom of his superior wife. The husband needs to demonstrate his acceptance of his position as her underling and to show his admiration for her beauty, power and wisdom. Look around you and observe the marriages where the “man” is boss and dominates his wife. Are they happy? Probably not. Look at the marriages where the woman is in charge and controls her husband’s habits, thoughts and actions, and you will most likely see a contented, happy marriage.


There is no greater accomplishment in life than truly loving someone and showing them that love. For the women in this club, that means allowing your husband, boyfriend or whichever male to show you his love by serving and obeying you. Yes, it does sometimes take effort to train them and punish them and guide them in a proper direction, but if you love them, truly love your male, you WILL do these things. For you males, it is bypassing your male egos and upbringing and learning to serve and obey and worship your superior. Shucking your dominating attitude to show you are not afraid to tell the world your superior is the MOST important person in the world to you.


Men can only remain in power with force—threats of bodily damage or abuse. A woman can take and keep control by means of voluntary submission on the male’s part. Such males must desire to prove their worthiness to their female superior. I need to know that his mind is on his domestic service and his observance of my rules. That he loves me, obeys me and desires to serve me. It is 24 hours a day, 7 days a week of working at showing me, proving to me, that he desires my ownership. That he lives for my touch and command.


I like to have a weekly disciplinary session with hubby. He knows he will get a spanking and some corner time. This accomplishes several things with one act. First, he knows it is coming, so he has time to think about it. He has to submit to the session and get his spanking dress on himself, a form of submission in itself. He then must submit to the spanking and accept the pain and blows from it. He must verbally accept his faults and agree to his weakness and admit his place. When he is done, he must stand in the corner and think about his faults and his proper place. And when possible, a witness or two will be present because it is the public admission of his subservient status that has the most profound effect. My goal is to train him to try to improve every day in ways to please me and obey me. He can never be perfect and so must try each and every day to improve. He must understand that is I whom he strives to please and impress.


I will say that if a woman is serious in controlling her male, several forms MUST be used. To strictly employ any single form of discipline by itself is ineffective and boring. The male must be constantly titillated by not knowing what Madam will do next. This keeps him on his toes as well as making his submission far more interesting. If I tell my husband I am going to punish him in a particular manner, he believes it even if I have no intentions of doing that to him. He believes it because he knows I have used many forms.


As the years pass, we will find a higher and higher percentage of males doing housework, obeying the women in their lives. Those of you already in this vanguard have a responsibility to your followers, to advise and inform and share your life and experiences with them. Help others to become what you have become.


Attitude: The husband should show an attitude of respect at all times. Disrespect is a serious offense and will be punished severely. Respect includes: manner of speech, promptness, kneeling to serve, proper answers, obedience, loyalty and honesty.

Behavior: Husband shall pay full attention to his Wife when spoken to. His Wife is more important than any other activity the husband may be engaged in. The husband should never sit before the Wife sits and always try to sit at her feet with prior permission. The husband shall dress as his Wife desires.

He shall talk only in a very low voice and be humble before her. He shall not argue or complain when in public with his Owner. When his Wife speaks, the husband should just listen and obey and never make any backtalk, which is punishable.

Wife’s Behavior: The Wife may laugh at the husband or make fun of him if he makes any blunders in front of the others or in a gathering of friends, but husband should never show in his behavior or on his face any objections for these actions.


Rebeccadom: I would love to see a system for shocking the male that could be implanted in his testicles much like a pacemaker. This would make it so he was always under control. The unit could also be promoted for any type of male dysfunction such as misbehavior, laziness, poor grades in school, etc.n and could be widely used even in young males. Mothers could pass the “control” to a girlfriend or wife. I believe the effect on males would be absolutely fantastic.

Dreamloverlabs: We could probably do this if we had millions of dollars rolling in from sales, and you could probably get a doctor in Eastern Europe or South America to do the implant for you. For now, we need everyone’s contribution and help in order to grow and make our products better and better. If we are successful, we promise to listen carefully to the feedback and wishes of our user base in order to create more and more powerful products, which will get tinier and tinier with increasingly high technology...


My wife has arrived home and my heart is fluttering with excitement! I hurry to do her bidding. I do not feel complete until she is home.

I have just hung her silk suit in her closet when, whap! Her panties hit me in the face and she laughs playfully. Blushing, I put them in my hand-wash basket and turn to gaze adoringly at my Mistress. Naked, stretching her beautiful body, absolutely comfortable in front of me...

She turns her brilliant emerald eyes on me and smiles, knowing exactly what effect she is having on me and enjoying it. Blushing, I lower my eyes to the carpet.

“I’m going to work out on the ellipse trainer for while, Sissy, and then have a shower. I want dinner at seven sharp. Then I’m going out. Lay out my ivory satin strapless with the right stockings and heels. It’s a sexy evening, not business. Got it?”

As she strides past me, all energy, grace and unself-conscious nakedness, she slaps my ass hard and, to her amusement, I squeal and jump and hurry to do her bidding.

Now, I am near the center of the feminine mystery. An intimate part of the life of a beautiful woman. An essential convenience for her professional and personal life. So close to her, caring only for her comfort and happiness, knowing that, as a “man,” I would never be here, seeing her glorious nakedness. Knowing how to choose her lingerie and stockings when she wants to be sexy.


"Being owned by a female is the final answer for a male."



  1. Thanks for this wisdom from MADAME REBECCA. Both the parts are very educative. Hope to read some more from her or other families in this lifestyle.

  2. Once an end goal has been decided on, the methods used to train the male are strictly up to the woman. It is her job and her right to train the male as she sees fit. The male may not understand some of the methods used by his Mistress. But he doesn't have too, he is only required to respect her and obey without question. He is being trained to serve her every need, want and whim. And only she knows what she wants from him and from the relationship. A male devoted to female rule does not question his Mistress or his training. Instead he thanks her for granting him the privilege of serving at her feet. These are the makings of a true servant, a proper slave.

    1. Mistress Sandra! I have deep respect for you and your views. I am a male (I know why the word Man cannot be used for me. I am sucha lowly and deplorable stain on this earth that even the word male gives me too much respect) who serves in the house of his wife. She is my Empress. our two daughters are my Princesses. I am privileged to obtain even the sight of such sublime beings!

  3. Dear Madam Sandra, I sent you an email, please respond to that. Also please read my new blog Males are inferior in all respects to the woman.